if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
