we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
