I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
