I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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