I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize