this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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