I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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