friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
