Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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