he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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