i don't like sucking hair
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
