Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize