I think I won the penis lottery.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize