Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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