May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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