i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
