I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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