dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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