just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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