Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
