Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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