Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think I sprained my soul last night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
