I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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