i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
