According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
