I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize