What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
