he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
