so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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