is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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