I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
