im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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