Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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