Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
