I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
