would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
