The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
