i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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