you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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