it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
