The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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