I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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