you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
