Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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