he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
