Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
