so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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