We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
