We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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