Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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