that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
