R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize