I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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