Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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