The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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