My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize